With Jamie and Jools Oliver advising us that their two elder daughters were there for the birth of the latest addition to the Oliver family, I wondered if that was acceptable. More importantly, I wondered who was I to judge.
When we’re at tomorrow
When it’s time to vote
Please vote and make a choice
Not based on fear
It’s children’s art week.
You’ve got to give up your home to glitter and glue. Or you’ve got to run around art galleries while parents in itchy looking knitwear wielding sugar-free rice cakes judge your ‘bum bum willy’ shouting Haribo munching children. Or you’ve got to pretend you love junk models.
It’s going to be awful.
But I say listen up fraught and frazzled parents, art and kids can be a beautiful thing. A fun thing. A cheap thing. Even a faff free thing. Really .
The little boy looked frightened
As he stared in to the mist
“I was looking for a rainbow, Mum
But I don’t think they exist”
20 years of hurt
And I’m still sat here reeling
After Euro ’96
Football stopped appealing
Fat cats took the dentist chairs
Hiked up the season tickets
Sold fancy seats to corporates
The rest of us could stick it
I have a desk
No longer just floor space
I have a desk
A place just for me space
A file and a shelf
A pinboard, a pen
A vocation again?
And no team
But I do have a desk
And it’s helping me dream
A couple of years ago Lords of the Drinks ran a poetry competition. Given that I like a poem, and that my specialist subject is drinking too much, I thought I’d enter.
The poem was penned on Burns night. Here it is
A few months ago, I got an email from the other side of the world. Andrew Beban from Off the Avenue Productions was involved in writing the music for a production called “A Man Walks Into a Bar”.
Could he, he asked, use my poem and turn it into a song to be featured in the production?
Hmmm. Let me think about that.
It’s all about communication isn’t it? Not just how we speak, but how we listen too. With that in mind, it is perhaps best to never hear the newest piece of child development research before sunrise, before coffee, through the medium that is Breakfast TV.
Given the pre-coffee circumstances, my first exposure to Save the Children’s “Lighting Up Young Brains” perhaps wasn’t all it should have been.
When it comes to education, we don’t need no politicians.
We don’t need no thought control.
This thought control invariably takes the form of FUD-ing:
F-ear U-ncertainty D-oubt Continue reading
Kim Kardashian took a naked selfie, and yesterday social media couldn’t stop talking about it. However, it wasn’t her nudity that concerned me. It was the beige-ness of her bathroom.
Clearly, I’m not above gawping at nude folk. Clearly I saw a headline that said ‘Someone is totally naked on instagram’ and I thought I’d sneak a peak. And there it was:
Someone naked, looking fabulous, in a really, really boring bathroom. Continue reading