Step away from my stollen…
Got a big turkey
Got a large tree
Got the best Christmas pudding
Got gammon for tea
Got cheese, got the pickles,
Got cake and biscuits
Now I just need to buy a few bits
Got enough crackers
The stockings are up
There’s logs on the fire
There’s sherry to sup
Written to Santa
Got an outfit that fits
I could just do with buying more bits
Wrapped all the prezzies
Made the last post
Polished the glasses
Got fizz for the toast
The halls are all decked
The lights are all lit
But when will I buy those last bits?
Dad pours an ale
Mum sips a gin
Nan necks a cider
The kids’ film begins
Aunt says to Uncle
“You look a bit p*ssed”
What’s wrong with them all? WE NEED BITS
I dash to the food hall
I’m hit with a bag
“Grab those last figs”
“That’s my stollen, you slag”
I’m rammed with a trolley
“Move it you pricks,
IT’S CHRISTMAS I NEED F*ING BITS”
At last it is done
The shopping’s complete
The cupboards are full
The pantry’s replete
We could safely ride out
The apocalypse:
Thank goodness I bought those last bits
Cogito Ergo Mum 
You have described the majority of parents in this country, in 42 lines. That takes talent. I absolutely loved this poem, I thought it was cute as could be.
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Thanks so much . Have a great Christmas x
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You too doll!
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Love this. Always admire the ability to write a fun poem. And so true…I was out getting a couple of ‘bits’ this afternoon!! Much love. Xx
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You too lovely lady. Have a fab Xmas xxx
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Thanks Lynn. Hope you have an amazing 2016 x
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Christmas just isn’t the same without all those bits! They’re helping me through Moody Monday right now. Mmmm yum….turkish delight….
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Ooh. Turkish delight. Haven’t had that in yonks. Here is to a 2016 full of the stuff. X
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Yep, always intend to do more than I can manage and there is stuff left over… but that’s Christmas 🙂
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