Speechless

How I can’t hear myself think and why I cannot speak

I am tired and distracted.

My mind is skittish, jumping from one thing to the other.

I have no focus.

The ideas are filling me from my toes upwards. They overwhelm me and spill out of my ears (that I try to block with music) and my eyes (that I try to block with social media feeds).

They are too ill-formed for them to leave my mouth so I try to direct them through my fingertips. I hope that  they’ll appear here soon, but they dissipate before  they’ve traveled the length of my restless arms.

I need touch to calm me. To massage away the mass of thoughts. To smother the sparks that threaten to light a fuse to an infinite amount of things-I’d-like-to-do-but-my-time-is-not-infinite-so-i-can’t-do-any-of-them.

I need no-strings physical contact.

There’s too much noise inside me.

I’ve no space for you inside me as well.

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