Category: Best of Cog
My Poem About Boozing is Now a Song!
A couple of years ago Lords of the Drinks ran a poetry competition. Given that I like a poem, and that my specialist subject is drinking too much, I thought I’d enter.
The poem was penned on Burns night. Here it is
A few months ago, I got an email from the other side of the world. Andrew Beban from Off the Avenue Productions was involved in writing the music for a production called “A Man Walks Into a Bar”.
Could he, he asked, use my poem and turn it into a song to be featured in the production?
Hmmm. Let me think about that.
YES
What my Mother taught me: A poem for Mother’s Day
Mum didn’t teach me baking skills
She didn’t lead me to the sink
She kept me close, without the apron strings
She taught me how to think Continue reading
Feeling flat: A poem for pancake day
Something I wrote a while back…..seemed a good moment to reshare.
Flipping tossers, eh
_____________________
I wrote down everything that came to mind when I thought of pancake day. Turns out I listed the ingredients for both pancakes, and a border-line abusive relationship. Who knew! Enjoy the poem. Enjoy the pancakes. Continue reading
Bowie for Boys: Advice for Little Starmen everywhere
The 7 year old was stunned. The 5 year old was visibly upset. The 4 year old burst into a rousing rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star when they heard that their hero the Starman had died. Here are a few things that Bowie can teach my boys: Continue reading
Tales from the Coal Face at Mumsnet Blogfest15
I’m not from the sort of family who frequents green rooms and public speaking events. I’m from, well, Rotherham.
When I was asked to speak at Mumsnet Blogfest15, myself and those close to me were therefore somewhat bemused and excited. Very excited. Continue reading
When we don’t have the words we still need to talk. Especially to our children.
Mumsnet asked if I would write a guest post about the Paris attacks, focussing upon how to speak to our children about atrocities such as this.
Should we speak about it at all?
I thought I didn’t have the words. I decided it was important to try to find them.
When we don’t know what to say, that’s when we really need to talk and listen to our children. Isn’t it?
Here is the post. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
33 *essential* questions for all book clubs
1. Who is hosting?
2. What time are we meeting?
3. Who is bringing the snacks?
4. Who would like a drink?
Cogitations with the kids: Why This Big Girl Does Cry.
Me: Please don’t throw that food on the floor.
The five year old: Why Mummy?
Me: Because if you do I shall cry. Continue reading
“New Survey Reveals Link Between Half-Baked Advice and Parents Feeling Annoyed”, says Expert.
A long-term study has pointed to a link between half-baked surveys, and mothers feeling generally fucked off.
The research by Dr Cog, a blogger with the sole aim of generating a bit of traffic to her website, reveals that pretty much every parent on the planet, from all walks of life, wishes ‘experts’ would keep their opinions to themselves unless they know for sure that their ‘advice’ will be helpful to most parents.
In a recent survey of a handful of mothers Dr Cog says the results, while not conclusive, appear to back current evidence that any old shit on parenting seems to get in the Lancet, and who has time to read the flipping Lancet anyway when you are trying to raise an actual human being, rather than a healthy statistic? Continue reading
Bubbles: A poem to lift my mood after reading some depressing online articles.
I need a change of mood
I need to breathe, feel soothed
To find joy in those little things
I need to turn away
From a world that says
“It’s hard time’s we are living in” Continue reading
