My Poem About Boozing is Now a Song!

A couple of years ago Lords of the Drinks ran a poetry competition. Given that I like a poem, and that my specialist subject is drinking too much, I thought I’d enter.

The poem was penned on Burns night. Here it is

A few months ago, I got an email from the other side of the world. Andrew Beban from Off the Avenue Productions was involved in writing the music for a production called “A Man Walks Into a Bar”.

Could he, he asked, use my poem and turn it into a song to be featured in the production?

Hmmm. Let me think about that.

YES

Continue reading

Feeling flat: A poem for pancake day

Something I wrote a while back…..seemed a good moment to reshare.

Flipping tossers, eh

_____________________

I wrote down everything that came to mind when I thought of pancake day. Turns out I listed the ingredients for both pancakes, and a border-line abusive relationship. Who knew! Enjoy the poem. Enjoy the pancakes. Continue reading

When we don’t have the words we still need to talk. Especially to our children.

  
Mumsnet  asked if I would write a guest post about the Paris attacks, focussing upon how to speak to our children about atrocities such as this.

Should we speak about it at all?

I thought I didn’t have the words. I decided it was important to try to find them.

When we don’t know what to say, that’s when we really need to talk and listen to our children. Isn’t it?

Here is the post. Thank you for taking the time to read it. 

“New Survey Reveals Link Between Half-Baked Advice and Parents Feeling Annoyed”, says Expert.

A long-term study has pointed to a link between half-baked surveys, and mothers feeling generally fucked off.

The research by Dr Cog, a blogger with the sole aim of generating a bit of traffic to her website, reveals that pretty much every parent on the planet, from all walks of life, wishes ‘experts’ would keep their opinions  to themselves unless they know for sure that their ‘advice’ will be helpful to most parents.
In a recent survey of a handful of  mothers Dr Cog says the results, while not conclusive, appear to back current evidence that any old shit on parenting seems to get in the Lancet, and who has time to read the flipping Lancet anyway when you are trying to raise an actual human being, rather than a healthy statistic? Continue reading

How Can I Be Charlie?

I wish I was Charlie. I wish I was brave, and fun, and witty, and wise. I wish I had a talent, a skill, and the vision to put that gift towards defending the values that make life worth living. But how can I be Charlie? I can’t even draw, And I’m scared. I don’t want to be scared. I want to be Charlie. Continue reading